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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

AA: Day three.


"So I should get used to a live without him in it?"
"Yeah, pretty much."

It stung me so much. How so easily somebody could say this to me about him. I wanted to tell them that no, we are not like that, this is not like that, it's just circumstances, but then I logged on and saw this picture as today's inspiration. I haven't been able to write lately; even normal conversations have been taking effort. But I read this, and I was like maybe this really is it. It matters not what we were, because we are not it anymore. As the world around reminds me constantly, we never will be again either. Then why do I still dream of him at night? Why do I feel his is the one voice that could put me to sleep? 

The signs scream loud, too loud - drown him, blur him out. You'd think I'd listen. Maybe I'll just surprise myself and do that. Or maybe I'll just choose to be deaf to absolutely everything altogether.
#The rock you stood upon, is broken up and gone. Hey baby, who's your baby now?

2 comments:

  1. I don't want to lecture you, I don't want to say I understand.

    All I'll say is, there will be a moment, when it'll just strike you and you'll just come out of it, just like that. You'll be fine. Until then, cry whenever you want, vent out your anger, do all that. Don't question yourself if you find yourself thinking about him because it's okay. It's perfectly okay to feel the way you're feeling right now..

    Lots of love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to say a lot but I guess the two words that sum it up is, thank you.
      All my love.

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