...of inadequacy,
Does it ever leave? This feeling? You would think one can have enough achievements in their life - if there ever was anything like "enough" in this consumeristic, materialistic, unjust world - for it to at least sink somewhere deeper where it becomes harder to resurface but nope. There's always rejection and regret and choices that weren't made at the right time or at all.
It stays, and it haunts.//
...of not being enough,
You know that fleeting thought that no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough? Sometimes it's just not so fleeting anymore. There might be evidence to the contrary but then, there's enough to strengthen this belief as well, right? That you're not pretty enough, not smart enough, not well-placed enough, just not enough.
It gnaws you from within.//
...of perpetual self-doubt,
Am I good daughter? A loving partner? A caring sister? A loyal friend? A kind person? What if I'm just not a permanent kinda person. What if I'm a great temporary, but a horrible forever? What if nobody ever sees me the way I want them to? What if everyone is selfish and I'm not built for this world? What if I'll never belong?
It leaves you hollow, and empty.//
...of darkness,
When you've been chasing the light but it thwarts you, misses your steps, and startles you in the few moments that it does grace you, you fall back to the known, even if it is miserable. When you feel absolutely alone and insignificant in this universe, where do you go? Whom do you call? What do you say? How do you explain the void in your chest?
It leaves you helpless, and hopeless.//
Does it ever leave? This feeling? You would think one can have enough achievements in their life - if there ever was anything like "enough" in this consumeristic, materialistic, unjust world - for it to at least sink somewhere deeper where it becomes harder to resurface but nope. There's always rejection and regret and choices that weren't made at the right time or at all.
It stays, and it haunts.//
...of not being enough,
You know that fleeting thought that no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough? Sometimes it's just not so fleeting anymore. There might be evidence to the contrary but then, there's enough to strengthen this belief as well, right? That you're not pretty enough, not smart enough, not well-placed enough, just not enough.
It gnaws you from within.//
...of perpetual self-doubt,
Am I good daughter? A loving partner? A caring sister? A loyal friend? A kind person? What if I'm just not a permanent kinda person. What if I'm a great temporary, but a horrible forever? What if nobody ever sees me the way I want them to? What if everyone is selfish and I'm not built for this world? What if I'll never belong?
It leaves you hollow, and empty.//
...of darkness,
When you've been chasing the light but it thwarts you, misses your steps, and startles you in the few moments that it does grace you, you fall back to the known, even if it is miserable. When you feel absolutely alone and insignificant in this universe, where do you go? Whom do you call? What do you say? How do you explain the void in your chest?
It leaves you helpless, and hopeless.//
