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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

linger ~

You're a whirl in the smoke, 
like those clouds that don't last.
those shapeless seems of white-grey patterns,
that you want should mean something.
but they don't;

You're the smoke because you stay on
in the head
long after,
I've blown you out.
you're infectious like that;

you're not here and yet you are
in meaningless things,
wordless phrases,
distant memories
and subtle thoughts.



I want to drown you with a drink,
i want to escape you somehow
because you know just when i'll trip
and i'm not sure
you'll catch me this time;

Your grasp on me,
never too tight,
was the perfect type of right.
Your breath on my neck,
and molten words,
on my skin;

You spin me around.
You always did.
you look at me,
gaze right down to the core.
pierce me;

In your arms,
i fit.
In your hugs,
i collapse.
forever;

Always and forever,
True love and eternity,
Soul mates and happily everafters,
I believe in none
and yet, I believe in them all;

You make me believe
and then take it all away,
the faith.
and leave me heartbroken with just few things,
the longing, the wait;

and with one last drag.
I wish I could exhale you.
but you stay on,
as always.
linger..

Sunday, December 26, 2010

All I want for Christmas is, you.

Switch off your feelings and i'll switch mine off,
because caring can get us both killed.



- Mythili

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

newness.

You know how after a long break, when you pick up the pen, it's sort of weird to write again? The crisp paper feels different from the summer and suddenly the pen isn't your friend like it used to be. You need some time to get acclimatized to it all, all over again. It's not that you've forgotten how it's done, you just need a while before you can do it perfectly again, because this is what you waited for all summer.

When you drive after ages, the revving of the car is the best feeling in the world. You're not even apprehensive, it's like you belong there. The roads are yours to conquer. You're the master of your destiny. You're not hesitant, you're just eager to drive your baby again. To feel the rhythm of the wheels beneath you and let the vibration take control, as you melt yourself into it.

Different things make you feel differently after a span of time. Some, you don't quite know how to react to, while others, well you know it only too well that it was just a matter of time. They were just, meant to be.

Should I be hesitant or let it all go.
Because maybe, just maybe, this was all meant to be.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's official.

Things to do.

  1. Start driving.
  2. Buy a new phone.
  3. Convince shreiya to come over this weekend.
  4. Plan something BIG for priyanshi's birthday.
  5. Wait for Daddy. Meanwhile, spend every waking minute with Mum.
  6. Cook for Kartik. (Oh god no!)
  7. Make Kartik take me out for drinks.
  8. Daydream about Rats&Meow. God, hurry up already Priyamvada.
  9. Fix the godforsaken dvd player.
10. Stop. thinking. about. HIM. the. date.
I like the idea of liking you.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Therapy.

I always wanted to be a Psychiatrist partly because I feel I needed one. As if life was always too much for me to handle, and it sort of has been. I didn't really get a shrink, I was my own help. And ofcourse my friends and family. Thankfully, over the years, I have managed to make friends who know even my sighs in and out. They get what a complex human I am and accept me for it, finally, no questions asked. We all took time to grow up from being judgmental bitches to understanding humans. We fall, we err and so we forgive.

It is so good to be with my best friend and see that she still gets it, gets me. It is equally nice to go for a drive with this boy who I seem to have known forever with our favorite music. It's better to wake up in my mother's arms, to my father's coffee. It is overwhelming to have texts in my inbox from people, telling me they're still there, like they always have been. It is wonderful to catch up with a long lost soulmate and catch up right where we left off. It is beautiful to be back.

Being home is like therapy for me.

Monday, December 6, 2010

You know you're home when..

  1. Someone wakes you up with tea or coffee or hot milk.. whatever you want.
  2. There's food in the refrigerator all the time.
  3. There is an electronic gadget for everything you need to get done.
  4. You have your own 'wheels' to travel by and don't need public transportation.
  5. The phone rings and beeps all day!
  6. You don't need to cook, or wash, or clean.
  7. Clothes are folded and ironed and arranged in the wardrobe by magic.
  8. You don't run out of cash.
  9. Someone kisses you goodnight.
10. It smells like home.