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Friday, February 24, 2012

So I lit up, crashed, and cracked.

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Now I sit here and wonder, if it was even worth it. I was fine on my own, in my shell, in the dark. I was fine, all alone. I lived my life, my way and on my terms. Then you came and showed me what it was to shine up. I told you I liked the darkness, but you dragged me into the sunlight. 
So I lit up.

You told me to open up and let it go, to not hold back and like a kid, I followed obediently. For I was your girl you said, your baby. You told me to listen to my heart when I was confused and I let it take over me completely. You told me that you'd never let me cry and so I let myself be vulnerable. Then you walked out and expected my heart to accept that with a gulp.
So I crashed.

I rise again, go on with my life, do my chores, dress myself but as I walk out the house, the mirror is the one thing I don't look at. As I try and force down food which my body refuses to accept, I'm asked why I'm pale as a ghost. I smile. Everyday I put on a smile, and everyday it wears off. The echo of your words still hangs in the air and I try and imagine what you would say to me if you saw me right now. And then the brain that I was refusing to listen to all along gives me my answer, "I'm long gone. You're in denial. " I heard it and started to weep. I clung to my own limp skeleton and tried to comfort myself that you'd hold me in your arms again. But I couldn't lie to myself anymore.
So I cracked.

I know I'm supposed to be happy that I was out in the sunshine, even if for a little while but I would so rather have stayed in the dark. It was easier then for I was made of metal. But now I've been corroded by the showers of your once undying love. I can't be whole again for I didn't just give you a piece of me.. I gave you my soul. You were to keep it safe forever. I thought falling for you, head over heels, was the best risk I ever took.
But I lit up, crashed and cracked.

-Comes under FF, started by Kanika, which has been my motivation to write everyday.
Please personally open the blog, to appreciate the beauty of the picture for reading the post without it, is incomplete.-

10 comments:

  1. Exquisitely written. Amazed by your perspective with respect to the picture :)

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  2. LOVED the interpretation of the picture! The way you have separately written about each and every second of the animation is wonderful! :)
    Following you up, fellow FF follower :)

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    Replies
    1. :D
      It makes my day to read that someone else got exactly what I tried to say. Thanks!

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  3. I've always been comfortable in the dark,light is such a hassle! Well-written.

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  4. Ah well done! Loved the details on the three aspects. Damn I couldn't write on this :/

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  5. Ahh light and darkness......two playmates forever sparring with each other...and yet in some places...co-existing peacefully....Beautiful!!!!

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