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Monday, February 6, 2012

Answers? Anyone?

I gave it all I had. Everything.

Why then? Why me? Why can I no longer write what I want? Why are my words choking me? Why are my breaths short and my thoughts weary? Why is every note of music torture? Why won't this pain end? Why am I not leaving it, following suite?

How did I become this? How am I not facing the mirror anymore? How did my reflection become so repulsive that I can't stand it? How did these eyes lose everything in one night? How did I lose him?

What happened? What did I do? What changed? What did I even expect? What sort of fate is this? What cure? What sadistic joke? What am I still waiting for?

Where did I go wrong? Where do I go now? Where do I look for answers? Where do I belong, if anywhere at all? Where's the belief? Where are the dreams? Where is my sleep, my sanity, my health? Where's my baby?

Do hearts change so easy? Do I get no say? Does love die? Do I fade away? Do I mean nothing? Did I never mean anything? Do I always need to dread the onset of a new year for that's when I'll lose the one thing I treasure the most?

Must all my worst fears and intuitions come true? Must I be Murphy's favourite target? Mustn't I get an equal shot at happiness? Must I remain an insomniac for life? Must I never trust and always give up? Must I bleed? Must nobody love me back?

Kya itna bura hun main maa?
Bolo maa, kya itna bura?  


  1. Aww, chill. Happens to all of us. Murphy loves all of us dearly, dont' worry. :P

  2. Sigh, this month has just been horrid, horrid! And the damn year's just begun. Nevertheless, thanks. Though it's sadistic don't you think that the only reason we get okay is because we know others are going through shit too?