I didn't know the exact meaning of this word till like a while back. It's this thing in like a book or a series or a movie which leaves you on the edge, like doesn't give away the end completely and keeps you wondering what's going to happen next.
He was a cliffhanger for me since day one. And damn, he's been the most addictive thing since nicotine. No matter how hard I try, it's almost impossible to give him up. I mean the things that relate me to him are so insignificantly small that I never even know which day I might stumble upon something which rewinds time for me. The funny thing is how little I knew him and how I still feel that I did know him.
He certainly reminds me of this boy who anyway refuses to get out of my system. The eyes, the very exact mischievous twinkle in them; the smile, the damn devilish grin; the wit, the sarcasm, the ohmyfuckinggod.. can I somehow, anyhow stop drawing these connections!
I wish there was a way to go back in time and change things and not let mess happen in our lives. I wish it was possible to just erase things which are just going to remain memories that make you smile eventually but mainly just rip your insides. I wish there was a way to not let people get bored of you or let them fall out of love with you. Because it's funny to suddenly wake up one day and reach out for something that's been long gone. Something that comforted you and kept you alive in your darkest hour, something you partially owe your life to.. it all just vanished.. vaporized all at once.. poof.
Entourage is my favorite show on television. Well, almost. I can never decide between this and Grey's Anatomy, way too tough a choice. But I usually pick the latter because I was introduced to the former by him and I don't need more reminders in my life as to how right he was for me. and how very wrong I am to think that way. Because he isn't! And I have fucking moved on.
I wish my dreams would too. That's all.
Because he has no place in either. Neither my dreams nor my reality.