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Thursday, July 29, 2010

You've got me!

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and chose who we want to remain close to and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too damn close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, is exactly what you need."

I know what you're going through is hard. The transition bit is always the worst. You're supposed to move on to newer, they say better things, but your heart's still stuck on to old thoughts and memories. You don't want to let go, not yet.

You're not letting go. You're just going to have to shut them into a little box for now and keep them safe till the time you can feel them around you again. Because for now, all they'll do is haunt you.

Distance is a bitch. It's the reason I'm not physically invading your space and making you scream fuck off at me. But you're still close man, close to your home, your world. You're a six hour ride away, you're a damn phone call away. There are people who would kill to be in your shoes right now, studying in one of India's finest institutions, staying in the capital's poshest colonies.

Those who stare at the past too long have their backs turned to the future. and frankly, not many would even be thinking of this past. Admit it, people all around are changing already. why would you want to be the only constant left behind? Constancy is synonymous with stagnancy now.

Breathe in the freedom, feel exhilarated in your new surroundings, be proud of yourself for having made it. Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions, oh let's go back to the start.

Nobody said it was easy.. it's such a shame for us to part.. nobody said it was easy.. nobody said it would be so hard..

I wish it was easier. But it isn't. And it's not going to be. Let's be clear. You'll never find another me. I was pretty awesome! But then, am I not still with you? In your dances? In the random hot boys? In the delhi momos? In the buses and in the autos? In the maggie? In every song you ever hear on your iPod? you want me to not be there, but I'm all around. Just like you're all around me. In the rains, in the scorching heat, in the songs and in the silence.

I'm learning to live with the memory of you, of us, and of everything I've left behind. I hope you'll learn faster than me. Because as I said, I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain!

I was always the broken one who needed mending baby, not you. You're so fucking special.. I wish I was special.. but I'm a creep.. I'm a weirdo.. Let me be the weird one man. You be the happy one! Live Delhi for me, if not for you. You know it's always been my dream city.

I can't muster any more gay words to tell you I can't see you like this Rats. so take a damn hint. You're my sister, you're my family, you're all I've got.
and I will breathe you back to life.
For you, a thousand times over.

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