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Sunday, July 18, 2010

5 essentials.

1. I love typing. The words seemingly come to me better with a keyboard. Letters, syllables phrases, sentences just have a way of forming themselves while my fingers type whatever it is that my brain is thinking at the moment; at times I feel it’s all so well co-coordinated that I myself realise my emotions only once I’ve put them on paper. At times when I don’t know what exactly is on my mind, I sit down to write, and sooner or later I do find out.

2. I love music. Words hurt, music heals. At times it’s so good to know that another person has gone through the exact same as I’m going through now. It’s so easy to lose myself in the words, in the beats. It’s surreal. I listen to repetitive music, you can call me a conservative but I like listening to something I’m at peace with. Something that helps me discover a part of me.

3. I love reading. It’s a whole new world, where my existence is immaterial. I’m going through a fast-forward version of someone else’s life. Which may or may not be better than mine but it’s rarely the same so there’s a thrill, an excitement to find out what happens next. I hate putting down a book that I’m reading; almost as if it’s movie playing and I’ll miss it if I engage myself in something else. The characters, the plot, the very imagination of the writer to me in enthralling. To be able to create a world apart from my own, a vivid one at that, in front of my eyes, is the most difficult task a writer is set to and yet, the most exhilarating.

4. I love the internet. I shall forever be indebted for the creation of internet, because it is truly man’s best creation according to me. It helps me be with my friends mentally even when I can’t be with them physically. It helps me stay in touch, it helps me be me. It’s funny but I feel paralyzed without signing in once a day. It’s like I feel incomplete until I’ve opened my mail everyday. That’s what helps me carry on when everyone and everything starts seeming so distant.

5. I love me. Yes contrary to public belief, on most days I am in love with the person I am. I used to hate being me, living up to my name, my image that I’d created. I’d started hating stretching myself just to prove myself every time. But I like me, way more than anything else. I can look in a mirror all day, making faces. I can do just about nothing all day and still be happy with myself. I can cry and whine and throw a tantrum over the most insignificant things but I can also care, understand, laugh, not-give-a-fuck and yet love and support you more than anyone else. I can party kick-ass if you want a Paris Hilton. I can be totally mute if you need a listening ear. I can make you feel very good or very bad about yourself. I can give you the right advice, the appropriate advice and also the most reasonable one. I can be totally mad or totally sober, whichever you may please.

So yes, I know you all think I’m a compulsive-depressive-pessimist but no baby.

I love being the multiple, multi-tasking person that I am; I’d be pretty bored of being plain-Jane, repetitive, monotonous and predictable all the time. I hate predictability man. So you’ll never know my next move unless I let you in on my evil plans! :D

Cheers to nineteen years of being a true case of multiple-personality-disorder.

I was, am, and for forever more shall be, the maddest girl you ever came across, but also the most unique.

My defense:

Most people were raised to believe they are just as good as the next person.

I was always told, I was better.

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