25th November, 2010
This date will go down the calendar as the worst I ever lived. It was the day I lost everything including the little respect I had for myself and the little trust that my parents had in me. It was the day I lost the only savings I ever had and all attempts to make any ever again. This was the day I lost any sense of direction that I had gained in the past months, a sense of responsibility maybe for the want of a better word.
It was also a day that I realized I am a fucking kid, a careless, useless piece of ass at that who wants the best but doesn't deserve it and like hell can't take care of it. I needed my parents back home, and I need Shail and Abhinav here to get me through because frankly I am just one of those losers pretending to be cool who can't do shit on their own.
If I was ever in a real crisis, I'd never be able to get out without calling my father for help. And my life has always been one big crisis. Have you heard about those people who curse everything they touch, the ones who're jinxed? Now you just added another to your list.
My friend told me today that maybe whatever shit happens to me, saves me from bigger shit but frankly I don't know how much bigger it gets. A bullet through my head would hurt less, trust me. At least the pain would be temporary.