backspace,

Let's go back in time and record it all, because this was pretty perfect now wasn't it? A day out of a dream maybe. Brilliance written all over it. Showers of affection and friends. who knew this world still exists? or was this just a dream? An inception perhaps, planted in my head by someone else? The virus of a idea.

I got another one last night. I don't quite know if someone broke into my thoughts, scanned through them and planted it there; or if it was there all along and I was just suppressing it to avoid being hurt; or if I've been manipulated. Whichever it is, I can feel myself growing to like the idea, maybe just the unattainability of it is what captivates me, it's what always captivates me. Who wants something easily conquerable?

Life gets boring and I certainly get bored of things sooner than most people would. And somehow you're just not interesting enough to hold my attention anymore. I used to think the distance would do us good, it would make me miss you. But now I think quite the contrary. the distance will make me believe what i already do at some level, that I am over you and at some level always was. because nothing about you enchants me anymore. i can see through the facade that you put up. I know the pretense right through and I can tell you're fake.

I hate fakes. being original does that to you.
And I find myself increasingly realizing the fakeness of you, of us.
Let's press backspace then, shall we?