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Thursday, November 10, 2011


It's getting cold. In some parts of the world it's even snowing. At about this time now, I'd take out my muffler back home, for I have sensitive ears. It never did get to cover them though for my friend Priyamvada Rathore always shared it for some crap. I never complained. I still won't. One shawl, one jacket, one pair of gloves, whatever either of us had on us for an iota of warmth, was automatically the other's. No questions asked. If there was any resistance shown by the owner, it was snatched right away so the protests were meaningless and unnecessary really.

Rats. She wouldn't let anybody else call her that, ever. Just like I'd not be Meow for anyone else. And no matter how much anyone may ridicule us, this we both always will be. Because, it's simple really. Some people do break all the way through and then that stays. No matter what. The time taken varies but once your guard is off, it just is.

"And I miss you when you're not around."
With uncle Bono singing this in my ears, I can't help but miss him too. I actually try to not miss him you know, like I make that effort. But what did I just say about defenses? Once broken through, they can't really be set back up. And we somehow broke each-other's without even meaning to.

Been there, done that.
I've said that for a long time but he's changed that for me. It's more of a 'been there, done that, but not quite' now. And to all those people who told me he was just "a stoned motherfucking player" I would just say, hah. In your face. You can't judge something until you feel it. You can't disregard someone until you know them. And I know him, I always have known him.

So darling as it turns out, I wasn't just a season for him. Because it's getting chilly now. And he's still saying those three words to me like he first did. He meant them then and he means them now. But you'd have known that if you knew how much that one word means to some of us. We didn't just blurt it out. It was said and meant and felt in most sincerity and certainty.

I don't define things and people and situations. I don't even define love. I don't like putting tags. But all of this changed for him. He called me his soulmate, we called this perfect, and the tag boyfriend/girlfriend followed too. Oh and I call this love. Years down the line I will still call this love. Because if this isn't it, nothing ever will be.

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