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Monday, September 2, 2013

The streets of my lover.

I try and speed by but I find myself slowing down as I take the turn into your lanes. There is so much history here that I can't seem to just pass it by. There's a white temple and stray dogs and an army sign.. There's us. If I concentrate hard enough I can see us walking these streets, hand in hand, not a care in the world. We were so simple then. Innocent. The world had yet to scar us and leave us forever in doubt. I can't avoid feeling pity for our young selfs. How deluded were we ? Did we actually kid ourselves into thinking this would last forever ? That the circumstances wouldn't take their toll and redefine life for us altogether. Did we honestly believe that we'd never question motives and needs and desires ?

I hate these lanes and yet I find myself walking them often. They're home. There's such a thing as familiarity and the comfort it brings. So much so that I don't even need you here - just these streets are enough. I remember running up to you and hugging you when you'd turned around to leave. I remember being kissed on the forehead for the first time. I recall the morning when I dragged you out of bed just to watch you sit and grumble about it. I remember all our shades of innocence.

Of all the times I have been in love (or believed I was in love anyway) I don't think it was ever more innocent. Much has been said about a girl's first love. I find myself wishing I were an exception but I'm not. This is your month darling and I carry you with me. You never could leave me behind you know. Our hold was just too strong and my pull... Well you never could stay away.

I secretly wish you never can.

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