There's way too much pain and I'm drowning. Where's my lifejacket? I think I found floaters but they're running out of air and I'm grabbing on to lifeboats that were pirate ships to begin with. I have to do this on my own, I say to myself. But I don't. I constantly need someone to hold my hand through things and I hate that about myself. I think I'm scared of the alternative - not because of how much it will suck but because of how comfortable I will eventually get at being alone, enough to never let anyone in, even slightly, again. I could finally find out what it's like - fighting to stay alive - maybe it's time - sink or swim baby.
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