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Thursday, October 17, 2013

A surge of memories.

That's the funny thing about visits and travel and vacations - odd moments take you back to long forgotten memories. Or memories you've tried hard to forget. It has a term in psychology. Episodic buffer. Recent events remind you of old ones since they tend to trigger episodes.

It's so funny as to how neatly my life is now wrapped. Into compartments. I only open one at a time and I'm quite content but sometimes, some rare occasions do cause me an emotional explosion even now. When the past meets present and haunts the future and I don't know how to link the dots or gather the pieces to this unsolvable puzzle.

I'm happy with a few of my life choices though they still have a long way to go in proving me right. But somethings just feel right. And even as I type this I know the naïve me is back. I just can't shake the fear of being let down. Thank you, you. For ruining love for me forever.

But a coward I never was and never will be. And this time around when the time comes, the leap of faith I will be ready to take. Jump all the way. Cross this divide of uncertainty.

For nothing but me this time.
Let's see if I've learnt afterall.

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