RIP

So, you know how we're the generation that's commercialized everything? Even death? It used to make me sick to my stomach. Like when people put up a status on a social networking site about someone's death, I want to barf, really. The very problem being the lack of tact and then how people 'like' that status. I mean hello? What is there to like? And then the sudden flood of wallposts on the deceased person's profile. I mean what are you thinking? Can they read all this? No. Does this help anyone? No. It's just very, very insensitive and nauseating. 

But then I stumbled upon someone's profile yesterday. The boy passed away some time last year and it took my breath away to see how his friends have constantly kept in touch with him, even if through this public forum. Of how much they miss him, enough to write him tiny notes of what they're upto and how it's not the same and never will be the same without him; how they posted songs they thought he'd have liked, and kept him updated about United's performance in the leagues. It broke my heart. 

Now it's weird because I don't even know this boy at all, but I wept for him. I wept for the people whose lives he'd touched and who don't have him anymore. And that's when it hit me. This is just their way to cope with it. Yes, it sucks, I get it but maybe accepting that full stop to his life sucks more. Maybe living in a world where you can't reach out to someone ever again sucks more than writing a pathetically public post about it. Maybe this helps them keep the hope alive, that just maybe he's out there somewhere, listening.

Death has become so real with all this growing up you know. Just like that, we've had to deal with our best friends losing their parents, their relatives, their friends. We've had to attend funerals we didn't think would ever happen. We've had to console people, not having a clue as to how to make them feel better. Coz let's face it, it is not okay. Okay is the one thing it really is not. It will never be okay. The void that a person leaves once there's gone is not something that can be filled up or replaced or.. Anything at all. It's just that - a gaping hole in place of the person that used to be.

And as much of a hypocrite as this makes me, I would probably do the same. No, I wouldn't update my status yearly or any such thing. But I would write to them. Whether in my head or on a wall somewhere accessible to alien eyes depends really. But I would certainly write. For not being able to tell someone what you feel anymore just totally sucks. So here I am, telling you I love you. This is where I tell you that. Repeatedly. And I always will. Because life is too bleeding short and I need to be able to say it. If not to you, then to the thought of you.

I love you.

There.