It's so rare - and fleeting - this feeling - no, not happiness; contentment.
You know when you have the most basic day and it's still perfect?
I don't take up a lot of space on my writing forums to be grateful and yet, one of the things I've come to be most grateful for lately, is time spent with loved ones. I think the past two weekends have been testimony to this. During a pandemic instated lockdown, it's only natural to feel the stress and pressure of being separated from ones I wouldn't voluntarily go without for long or short spells, really. However, tonight, I feel immensely... Complete. I think the past two weeks have really enriched me with minimalism, which is rare. I'm usually someone who desires and aspires for the big, the extraordinary, the grand.
However, I found comfort in talking for hours with friends I hadn't caught up. I found laughter in revisiting stories with family that had drifted away. I found rejuvenation in playing silly games with parents and extended family (and of course in unleashing the competitive side). I found ecstasy in having one of my best friends make the time and space and effort to spend uninterrupted time with me and in spoiling her rotten over the course of that weekend with my hostess-ness. I found bliss... In holding your hand again, touching your skin, almost like electricity; in being close to you, and yet not close enough; in finally taking you in, all of you, lips, body, mind, soul, everything.
I don't know how I've gotten here honestly. This feeling of being fulfilled and complete is so... new? Engaging? Refreshing? Satis-fucking-fying. I do look for small signs and gestures, take pleasure in the mundane and routine - from asking you about your meals to making some for people I love. I'm still far from the version of productivity and efficiency that I envision for myself but somehow I find myself, telling myself, tiny, little positive things lately - about myself. I'm being kind, almost? And I'm feeling something so much more than love for him...
As cliche and cheesy as it is, I guess I'm honestly just another girl, looking at her boy from across a virtual screen, wondering...
Kaise hua? Tu itna zaruri kaise hua?
You know when you have the most basic day and it's still perfect?
I don't take up a lot of space on my writing forums to be grateful and yet, one of the things I've come to be most grateful for lately, is time spent with loved ones. I think the past two weekends have been testimony to this. During a pandemic instated lockdown, it's only natural to feel the stress and pressure of being separated from ones I wouldn't voluntarily go without for long or short spells, really. However, tonight, I feel immensely... Complete. I think the past two weeks have really enriched me with minimalism, which is rare. I'm usually someone who desires and aspires for the big, the extraordinary, the grand.
However, I found comfort in talking for hours with friends I hadn't caught up. I found laughter in revisiting stories with family that had drifted away. I found rejuvenation in playing silly games with parents and extended family (and of course in unleashing the competitive side). I found ecstasy in having one of my best friends make the time and space and effort to spend uninterrupted time with me and in spoiling her rotten over the course of that weekend with my hostess-ness. I found bliss... In holding your hand again, touching your skin, almost like electricity; in being close to you, and yet not close enough; in finally taking you in, all of you, lips, body, mind, soul, everything.
I don't know how I've gotten here honestly. This feeling of being fulfilled and complete is so... new? Engaging? Refreshing? Satis-fucking-fying. I do look for small signs and gestures, take pleasure in the mundane and routine - from asking you about your meals to making some for people I love. I'm still far from the version of productivity and efficiency that I envision for myself but somehow I find myself, telling myself, tiny, little positive things lately - about myself. I'm being kind, almost? And I'm feeling something so much more than love for him...
As cliche and cheesy as it is, I guess I'm honestly just another girl, looking at her boy from across a virtual screen, wondering...
Kaise hua? Tu itna zaruri kaise hua?
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