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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Because I really want to cry, and I can't.

I hate it when all your life you're led to believe in something which is actually not true. Goodness doesn't necessarily guarantee it in return. Fairytales don't come true. There seems to be no such thing as karma. I hate it when you really want a smoke but the pack has run out of lights. I hate it when you're trying to finish some important work and your kid chooses that moment to start crying. I hate it when no matter how many songs you listen to, you only relate them with one person. I hate how once something is broken, it can never be whole again. 

I hate so much around me, don't you ?

I hate how we've become robotic. I hate how a grand romantic gesture by a man is precisely that but by a girl is termed desperate. I hate how dowry has become even more prevalent than before. I hate how there is not one political leader worth voting for and believing in. I hate how much love hurts. I hate you have to keep your emotions bottled up for the fear of them being discarded in vain. 

I hate how practical I've become. I hate how I stop myself from dialing certain numbers no matter how bad I want to speak my mind to said person. I hate how manipulative I've become. I hate how I can see through people's lies and motives now because that leaves no room for that little hope of good in them. I hate how I don't cry anymore. I hate how all my tears have dried up over him.

I hate how my driving force in its most innate form is hate itself. I hate how twenty four hours are never enough for all that I want to do and see but somehow I always seem to be oversleeping and wasting precious minutes in doing things which are inconsequential. I hate how I can't see you but she can. I hate how one drink is never enough, and two always too much.

So much hate and in the stillness of the night I can feel just thing flow through my veins.. 
My love for you.