Disclaimer: I'm giving up.
Dreams of a happy and normal life are for other people I guess. Others like me, wounded healers if I may, have a higher calling and purpose which can't be defined by or restricted to minor day to day things that may be pertinent for individual happiness but don't impact the larger picture (much at least).
Some of us need to be okay with helping and working and others not understanding it. As long as they aren't actively sabotaging it, it counts as support - doesn't it? Who's keeping track of emotional needs or scars? As long as physical needs are being met and there is a semblance of normalcy, then let's keep the facade going.
Some of us need to be okay with helping and working and others not understanding it. As long as they aren't actively sabotaging it, it counts as support - doesn't it? Who's keeping track of emotional needs or scars? As long as physical needs are being met and there is a semblance of normalcy, then let's keep the facade going.
How dare I have needs that don't confine themselves to the patriarchy or casteism or gender persecution of Indian households? How dare I wish for timelines that would support me and help me grow? How dare I demand for anger to be reigned in and kept in check?
Weren't you educated? Provided for? Isn't that enough?
Aren't you well fed and encouraged to dream and pursue your passions (with only a little sarcasm for failure and quitting, come on you can't be sensitive about that now can you?)
Don't you think you should be grateful? For being given freedom and liberty? A girl after all - who can choose what to wear, eat, drink, whom to love - why aren't you more grateful and humble?
Why do you seek the impossible? Too much ambition I tell you...
Why are you so hung up on the ideas of an equal and loving companionship? Of a perfect proposal and wedding? (You're heard and loved and supported and cherished - come on this has got to be enough! The uncertainty is all in your head darling)
So I think it's time to imbibe the Indian values of sacrifice and martyrdom now. Bring the restless heart in check. Reign back the dreams. You can't have it all. No, you just can't.
So life's message is clear: it's time to be realistic and give up - your dreams of idealism and perfection or your happiness because it's time to settle and compromise (which is just a fancy word for sacrifice).
Your move Shiromi.
