The entire premise is wrong. Of taking that leap, of going head over heels, of making that darn exception. Because making that is no guarantee of you finding what you went looking for. Heck, you'll never get what you want anyway - that's just how twisted it all is. And if you feel in your gut that you've finally found the one person who'll shatter this belief, you're wrong. He'll just shatter you.
The idea of love is better than the real deal. How you see it is not how it ends. How it ends is completely in somebody else's hands altogether. Which is why it shouldn't even be expressed. You should just choke down those feelings when they first arise. When you feel that first nudge in your insides to go that extra mile, when you start feeling yourself dissolve for a united existence seems to hold more meaning - stop, step back. And then turn around and run. Run as fast as you can and never look back. You'll miss out on something, you convince yourself. But you're just saving yourself from a huge pool of hurt, pain and anguish; longing, misery and wait.
Listen to me. Trust me. I know for I've been swimming in this pool for long now. I think I'll drown in it too.
This pool was made of undying love once
and built for two.
But you walked away and left me alone;
*My exception*, didn't you?
I think I'm going to put this down somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had understood this sooner. Or that it'd sink in FAST.
DeleteI HAD the perfect love at one point of time. But then i made a silly mistake. And she could not find it in herself to forgive it. I begged for months and until she finally stopped caring so less that i felt like a stranger. And I had to cut contact. And while it hurt me so bad that at one point i had to hurt myself to distract myself from the mental anguish. And i know she couldn't care less. this from a woman who once cried because i met her for 2 hours instead of the planned 4 hours.
ReplyDeleteThat's life eh !
It's funny how the littlest of things change the people we love to such a great magnitude that we can look at them and have a stranger stare back at us. Alas, the only option is to pick up the broken remains of our memories and console ourselves with the fact that we did experience the 'love' once.
DeleteThough if I had it my way, I wish I'd never met him. That way I didn't have to know exactly what I want and can't have.