Bekhudi kya cheez hai..

Have you ever lost yourself to someone? Have you ever lost yourself to love? Have you ever been loved so much that you felt it was a dream? Didn't you hate the person that woke you up from this perfect dream? Has anyone ever said the exact things that moved your soul to a depth you didn't think imaginable? Did someone read your heart and then write the words that it always ached to hear? Did you ever break all your rules, all your defenses, all your barriers for that someone?

I did.

Did you ever love anyone more than you loved yourself? Did they still argue with you endlessly that they loved you more? Did someone's eyes melt you from within forever? Did someone else's smile dissolve your frowns? Did someone make you feel so special that you started seeing yourself from their eyes, started liking seeing yourself that way? Did someone make your mornings better because waking up meant another day with them? Did you ever wish for a forever because it was just that beautiful?

I did.

Did you ever regret falling for them? Did you ever curse yourself for following your heart? Did you get mad at yourself for loving someone so much that you forgot to plan an exit strategy? Did you scream at your memory for remembering the most intricate details and reminding you of things that were best forgotten? Did you ever wish you'd never met them so you could go on pretending that someone like them just didn't exist?

I didn't.
Never.


Hoshwaalon ko khabar kya, bekhudi kya cheez hai..
Ishq keeje, phir samajhiye, zindagi kya cheez hai..


Dedicated to Bhanupratap Singh - you don't know it, but today your song, your voice brought back my fondest memories and the realization that it's always better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.


Unse nazrein kya mili, roshan fizayein ho gayi,
Aaj jaana pyaar ki jaadugari kya cheez hai..


Dedicated to you too - I've experienced emotions with you, across all this distance, I thought I was incapable of feeling with people at an arm's length. And in moments when bits of our conversations will flash me by, I'll remember you as the sun that melted down a cold exterior of me, forever; I'll know that the love you have given me, I'll never find anywhere else; and I'll smile because it wasn't just a dream, it all happened, we happened.


Hum labon se keh na paye unse, haal-e-dil kabhi..
Aur woh samjhe nahi, yeh khamoshi kya cheez hai..